but youre not helping me
all youve ever done is antagonize me for literally nothing
you always have the best way of swooping in when im in a really bad emotional state and just making me feel worse
shouldnt you be happy that i havent really made an attempt to get back with your dad??? thats why you were mad at me in the first place
and you cant even use the excuse of i make him happy or whatever bullshit you pulled the last time i was talking about ending my relationship with him for your sake, i might add
because now he doesnt even know who i am
at least he knows youre his son
im just another face to him
so dont even try to say that its anywhere near what im going through because it isnt
he knows you and now youre able to get past all the bullshit that you caused that got between the two of you and be happy again
im not fortunate enough to be able to pick up from a stable relationship and just continue on because he has to get to know me all over again
and this next time around he may not like who i am
im allowed to be sad ok
im allowed to be hurt because of this
i dont need you shoving how shitty of a person i am in my face because i already know and because of that im probably not going to get him back
so just
leave me alone
just ignore me
because i cannot handle the stress you put me through ok
the “stress” i’m giving you is nothing compared to what you gave me, i promise you.
you must not be used to stress, huh.
dave, if you don’t want someone to try to help you by slapping some sense into you, what do you want? you want me holding your hand and telling you it isn’t your fault and that you’re such a poor, poor baby? i can feel sorry for you and tell you everything’s gonna be okay, and i can pity you. is that what you’re trying to get?
you’re such a piece of shit. you are. “what you’re going through”. you’re “just another face”. that’s cute, dave. i love how you make your problems out to be worse than anyone else’s.
you know, some people lose their loved ones. they don’t have the chance to see them again and speak with them again and hold their hand. they don’t have the chance to do any of that. but you do, and you’re too fucking absorbed in your “boo-hoo“‘s and “oh woe is me“‘s to do ANYTHING about it.
if you’re so traumatized about being “another face” to him, then make yourself stand out.
otherwise, he would have met you as another face, and would have forgotten you as another face.
(Source: eccentricbiologist)
STOP IT.
stop with the stupid pity bullshit!!! self pity isn’t gonna fix anything, it’s just gonna make you more upset and everything’s gonna be worse.
enough of this “i’m pathetic” bullshit, and enough of this “i’m not good enough” TRASH.
if you actually cared for my dad, then you wouldn’t have gone ahead and buried your head in the sand like a SCARED BIRD.
you would have done something about it. how about you start living up to your name? the dave strider i knew was a LOT more willing to do what he needed to do for who he cared for!
can you just not hate me for five seconds to try and see what im going through
i just lost THE most important relationship in my life
the most important person in my life
and yeah in theory it should be easy for me to just pull myself together and get him back
but i cant
and even if i do its not going to be the same and ill just end up losing him again anyways
you think i would be talking to you right now if i still hated you?
you think i’d be trying to knock some sense into you and get you to try and get back this “most important relationship” that you lost if i still fucking hated you??
you need to grow up, dave. you act like this is the end of the world, but hey, newsflash asshole, it isn’t. my dad doesn’t remember a thing about me or what happened between us. how do you think i feel about that?
but see, here’s the difference between you and me. i’m willing to look beyond that. i’m not slamming it into his face and making him feel bad about forgetting. i just let that slide and now we’re just as we used to be.
you’re pulling this stupid pity shit and i don’t know why you are, because like hell i’d pity you. you’re pathetic, and it’s embarrassing to watch you right now.
you’ll just end up losing him again because you don’t care enough to actually try and get him back in the first place.
and see, here’s the funny thing!
not everything is handed to you as easily as your relationship was to begin with. oh, and something even funnier. my dad came to comfort you when you were on another of your self-pity sprees. just because he’s not doing that now doesn’t mean you’ll lose him again or some shit like that. he thinks he just met you. leave it at that, and build up from the beginning.
i can’t help you if you won’t help yourself.
jesus christ, i can’t watch this.
wow im
sorry im pathetic
haha
STOP IT.
stop with the stupid pity bullshit!!! self pity isn’t gonna fix anything, it’s just gonna make you more upset and everything’s gonna be worse.
enough of this “i’m pathetic” bullshit, and enough of this “i’m not good enough” TRASH.
if you actually cared for my dad, then you wouldn’t have gone ahead and buried your head in the sand like a SCARED BIRD.
you would have done something about it. how about you start living up to your name? the dave strider i knew was a LOT more willing to do what he needed to do for who he cared for!
==> John: Go see your dad.
Oh boy. James holds John close, rocking back and forth with him in his arms. Whatever he’s done, James is clueless to it, but he’ll make it better.
John, if there’s something you need to tell me, then please do. And if there’s something you did that I don’t remember…I forgive you. I could never be disappointed in you, son. You are the very thing that gives me life, did you know that?
John moves his arms to wrap around the man’s neck as he squeezes his eyes shut, shaking his head. Did he say that to Dave? John was sure he did.
i don’t need to tell you anything. i just…i’m just glad to be here. i’m glad you’re here.
you give me life too, and i love you a lot, and i missed you so much.
John tries to steel his nerves before he becomes too hysterical, sniffing and nuzzling against his father’s shoulder. How could he tell him anything? How he was in love with his father, or how he almost killed himself, or about any of those things that he had to deal with, leading up to his meeting Bro?
He couldn’t.
(Source: eccentricbiologist)
==> John: Go see your dad.
Venice? As in Italy? Of course as in Italy, I don’t know any other places named Venice.
For his stupidity, he shakes his head at himself and chuckles.
But goodness, that sounds very…romantic!
John gets quiet, so James decides to do the same, just rubbing his son’s back and holding him close.
I missed you too, son. I love you so very much, and I want you to know I’m so proud of you. For everything you’ve done.
John sniffs, swallowing down the lump in his throat as he nods, closing his eyes tightly. If his father remembered what happened…he wouldn’t be very proud, would he? Of course not.
…yeah. everything i’ve done.
He tries to take steady breaths, holding onto his dad as tightly as possible. He familiarizes himself with that old scent his father has, the light smell of tobacco mixed with cologne. He loved that smell, and probably missed it the most.
(Source: eccentricbiologist)
==> John: Go see your dad.
A trip? Where? That sounds exciting! Oh, and poetry? Goodness, he sounds rather wonderful. I’d like to meet him sometime if you don’t mind!
His smile grows, and again, he hugs his son.
I don’t know why it feels like it’s been so long, but I’m glad you’re here, son. But goodness, what did you rush over for?
we went to venice. he got us this really nice apartment-type place, and showed me around.
he is wonderful!
and i told you, dad. you will get to meet him.
John frowns, squeezing his father back as he buries his face into James’ chest, staying silent for a moment.
it has been a while, dad. i don’t know why, but it has. i guess i came over because i wanted to see you and make sure everything’s okay.
He presses his forehead against James’ neck, clinging to him.
i missed you.
(Source: eccentricbiologist)
